近两天的欧冠赛场精彩看点层出不穷，多场焦点之战中，巴萨战平多特、皇马负于巴黎、利物浦不敌那不勒斯，切尔西败北瓦伦西亚，而尤文则与马竞握手言和。其他比赛中，曼城、拜仁等球队纷纷取得胜利，热刺、国米等则收获平局，好了，话不多说，让我们快来看看歪果仁们精彩吐槽吧！

迪马利亚梅开，巴黎3-0皇马

EAUO9(未知主队球迷)：这赛季如果皇马还想拿欧洲冠军的话，不如考虑去踢欧联杯。(If Real want to be European champs again they should go for the Europa League this season.)

Michaelirishred(未知主队球迷)：皇马还有能力去赢欧联杯吗？(Do you think Real can win the Europa League?)

just_a_random_guy_11(巴萨球迷)：作为被巴尔韦德血虐的巴萨球迷，这场比赛带给了我一点希望…(As a Barca fan stuck with Valverde this gives me hope.)

Usernames(巴萨球迷)：本以为我们踢得够差了，没想到皇马还是更甚一筹…(I thought we were playing bad man Real still trying to out do us.)

SubjectAndObject(巴萨球迷)：毕竟是巴萨名宿啊！(barça legend.)

DisparateYouth(未知主队球迷)：这场比赛我看到内马尔和姆巴佩的次数都比阿扎尔多了，而他俩根本就没上场…(I’ve honestly seen Neymar and Mbappe more this game than Hazard, and the former aren’t even playing.)

Faggotttttttt(纳什维尔球迷)：看台上内马尔的表现已经比皇马全队加起来都多了！(Neymar put on more of a performance tonght than Real Madrid.)

bluewaff1e(曼联球迷)：齐达内之前最想处理掉的两名球员，现在是皇马仅有的表现亮点了…(The two players Zidane was trying to weed out of the team are the only two who looked good for Madrid.)

Jrainiersea(西雅图球迷)：今晚身穿白衣的球队赢了，他们的门将是纳瓦斯。什么？那不是皇马？(There’s a team wearing white with Keylor Navas in goal and it’s not Real Madrid?)

spea-keth(未知主队球迷)：巴黎阵中的西班牙球员比皇马还多，而皇马阵中的法国球员比巴黎还多…(PSG have more Spanish players in their team than Real Madrid tonight, whilst Real Madrid have more French players in their team than PSG.)

Puzukamida(西班牙球迷)：库尔图瓦是世界最名不副实门将了吧…(Courtois is the most overrated GK in the world.)

Contrarian(曼联球迷)：现在他还有啥名声吗？(I don’t think anyone rates him too much nowadays.)

罗伊斯失点，多特0-0巴萨

BellenSchengel(美因茨球迷)：我的天，上次苏牙在欧冠客场进球的时候，法蒂才12岁，而现在他都已经为巴萨首发踢欧冠了…(Jesus.... when Suarez scored his last CL away goal.... Ansu was 12 years old. Now Ansu starts for Barca in CL.)

Natamamba(巴萨球迷)：既然大家都在问，那我就告诉大家，法蒂的年龄是6161天。(Since everyone keeps asking, Ansu Fati is 6161 Days Old.)

Kallegodisson(热刺球迷)：没想到吧，排在小组头名的是布拉格斯拉维亚！(Slavia Prague at the top after game one just as expected.)

Mightbeabotidk(巴萨球迷)：所以他们抽签的时候在笑啊 ，我们完蛋了！(That's why they were laughing, we're doomed.)

wien10(未知主队球迷)：要是特尔施特根和胡梅尔斯都是德国人，那德国队现在得多强啊！(Germany could look so good if ter Stegen and Hummels were German.)

Acquits(巴萨球迷)：要是苏牙在欧冠一直这么狗血，你拿什么去超过人家埃托奥啊…(I can never rate Suarez ahead of Eto because of his continuous dog shit performance in CL)

补时绝平，国米1-1布拉格

Iwanttosaysmth(华沙莱吉亚球迷)：看来我们都误解了布拉格代表在欧冠抽签时的笑容了…(It looks like we all misunderstood Slavia's laugh during the draw ceremony.)

Paris2Berlin(巴黎球迷)：我们都错了，他们那不是因为自己要完蛋的苦笑，而是嘲讽其他人都要完犊子的嘲笑！(We were all wrong, they weren't laughing because they were danger, they were laughing because everyone else is.)

AlKarakhboy(国米球迷)：我们的战术就是：长传---->卢卡库争顶成功---->球顶给了布拉格球员---->循环往复。(Long Ball ----> Lukaku wins header ----> Ball goes to prague ----> Repeat.)

WineAndRevelry(曼联球迷)：如果国米踢得再努力一点点，应该是能混上一脚射门的吧…(If Inter played as hard as they whine they might have a shot.)

tr_24(切尔西球迷)：孔蒂：巴萨一定是很害怕面对我们，哦不，布拉格的！(Conte : Barcelona won't be happy to play us, oh fuck, slavia prague.)

Helkix(阿森纳球迷)：我有种预感，这赛季我能看到国米在周四和我厂踢欧联杯…(I have a feeling we will see Inter playing with us on Thursdays this season.)

Zablebghal(尤文球迷)：仅仅主场绝平个布拉格，卢卡库就能开心地庆祝成这样？(Lukaku celebrating an equalizer at home vs Slavia LIKE THAT?)

Virtuaofficial(国米球迷)：他已经习惯在曼联不输给哈镇3个球就可以庆祝的时候了…(He's used to United where they celebrate not losing by 3 goals to huddersfield.)

连追两球，马竞2-2尤文图斯

0frame(未知主队球迷)：尤文一直在等着C罗突然大爆发carry全场呢！(Juve is just waiting for Cristiano 'miracle' Ronaldo to do his thing.)

Opi(波兰球迷)：我知道的关于最新手球规则所有的认识，就是我什么都不知道——苏格拉底。(All I know about new handball rules is that I don't know anything about new handball rules— Socrates.)

FreeMattyB(日本球迷)：定位球会比香烟更早得要了萨里的命…(Set pieces will kill Sarri before the tobacco will.)

CrystalMaterelius(马竞球迷)：西蒙尼什么时候才能不要同时让萨乌尔和科克同时上场？到2154-55赛季便可一见分晓。(Will Simeone ever stop playing Saul and Koke together. Find out in 2154/55 season.)

LumpyGuest(德比郡球迷)：看来马竞的主要任务就是不要让C罗再进球…(Looks like atletico's main aim is keep ronaldo to 0 goals.)

ZangieftheRussian(波尔图球迷)：当你的前任队长代表别的球队在第90分钟打进绝平进球，这是种什么感觉…(That feeling when your team ex-captain is out there scoring 90' goals for another team.)

raven2474life(萨克拉门托球迷)：还以为西蒙尼还要做那发射蛋蛋的庆祝动作呢！(Thought Simeone was going to go with the nut shot pose again for a second.)

frestoa-RM(皇马球迷)：如果C罗最后的得分机会能把握住，也许就能弥补我们输给巴黎带来的伤心…今晚对我们来说真是诸事不顺啊！(If Ronaldo scores that in the last minute it would have made up for the PSG result. Nothing went right for us tonight.)

Jejdjfnsjdks(未知主队球迷)：我敢打赌，如果尤文和皇马会师欧冠决赛而且C罗赢了欧冠就会得金球奖，那你一定会去支持尤文的。(I’ll put money on you wanting to see Juventus win the CL rather than Madrid if it meant Ronaldo gets another Ballon Dor.)

焦点之战，那不勒斯2-0利物浦

DarkSofter(曼联球迷)：现在看到利物浦输球真不容易，我得好好珍惜这每一分时光…(U dont often see Liverpool lose these days so I’ll cherish every moment.)

Muzzy_Hosh(利物浦球迷)：去年我们就在客场输给那不勒斯了，最后还不是拿了欧冠冠军？所以这场比赛也算是一种胜利！(Lost against Napoli away last year and we won the Champions League. I see this as an absolute win!)

DarkVoidize(莱斯特城球迷)：范戴克只不过是荷兰穆斯塔菲而已！(Van dijk is just a dutch mustafi.)

PotatingRotato(热刺球迷)：略伦特是在长得太迷人了，利物浦都没法专心去防守了…(Llorente’s too handsome Liverpool were distracted.)

轻松取胜，曼城3-0顿涅茨克矿工

deception42(曼城球迷)：如果你是曼城球迷，那在裁判没确定越没越位之前的进球，你都是不敢庆祝的…(You're not a City supporter if you didn't wait to see if it was offside or not before celebrating.)

Tim-Sanchez(莫克姆球迷)：斯特林正在气恼京多安没传球给他，结果都没想到对方后卫竟然把球传过来了…(Sterling was so busy being angry at Gundogan for not passing he didn't expect the pass from the Shakhtar defender.)

Tautou(曼城球迷)：我猜沃克肯定是加入了植发大军了！不然怎么解释他这奇葩的光头造型…(Feel like Walker joined the hair transplant club. Shaving his head of for it would make sense...)

领先两球遭扳平，热刺2-2奥林匹亚科斯

AFCInfinity(阿森纳球迷)：北伦敦最擅长2-0领先后崩盘了！(North London Teams bottling 2-0 away leads.)

Deadalready(热刺球迷)：很好奇热刺是不是忘了怎么给凯恩传球了…(Wonder when spurs forgot how to pass the ball to Kane.)

neman-bs(布拉格球迷)：我不知道该支持谁好了，是为兄弟球队奥林匹亚科斯加油呢？还是为热刺加油，这样我们也能争取点欧联的希望…(I don't know who i should be supporting here, our brothers from Olympiakos or the Spurs so that we can try and contest the EL spot...)

Bosasrsi(未知主队球迷)：哥，别装了，你们可是小组第一啊！(Stop please, you are the first in your group!)

轻松取胜，拜仁3-0贝尔格莱德红星

wLepic(巴萨球迷)：蒂亚戈这场比赛就像是和孩子在后院踢球一样。(Alcantara Playing like it’s vs kids in the backyard.)

XeroVeil(德国球迷)：红星的队长是马林…比赛开始前我简直愣了30秒，真是震惊啊！(Red Star's captain is Marko Marin. Still 30 seconds until the start of the match and I'm already fucking stunned.)

罗德里戈进球，切尔西0-1瓦伦西亚

Oll678(切尔西球迷)：你好欧联杯，我的老朋友…(Hello Europa League my old friend...)

Iftair(阿森纳球迷)：我来和你再踢一场球！(I've come to play with you again.）

BrendaPham5190(切尔西球迷)：欧冠冠军和欧联冠军竟然都首场就输球了…(Two Champions of Europe lost their first game.)

Dalyon(里昂球迷)：是谁说瓦伦西亚刚换了个新教练就不会踢球了？(I've been told valencia are gonna forget how to play football with their new coach.)